Um, kind of long story here, but suffice to say I found a mattress while wandering the halls of FroSoCo, managed to throw it off the roof of the fourth story, and proceeded to bike it back to my dorm, Larkin, on the other side of campus, while it was strapped to my back by means of a bicycle lock. While this may indeed seem like a calculated attempt at theivery, I assure you that on the contrary there were serious mitigating circumstances that I would be glad to explain to you if you are the owner of this mattress. So. In hopes that I didn't accidentally pilfer your mattress, please contact me if you are at all distraught. I think I found it on the third floor, maybe?

It is, uh, light blue. Some might say "Robbin's Egg Blue". The geometric shape most closely corresponding to its general form is a rectangular prism. It might or might not smell like kind of old meat. I'm thinking beef jerky. This has yet to be proven, but our room started smelling like old meat roughly one day after the mattress in question was placed on the floor. In the end, this might be a correlational, not a causal relationship. Take with a grain of salt.